lørdag 16. november 2013

You think English is easy??

You think English is easy??

I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!

Read all the way to the end.................
This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

mandag 1. oktober 2012


INVANDRARNA (av Bosse Parnevik)
En kommer hit för att fly från nöden
En kommer hit för att undgå döden
En kommer hit av terror tvungen
En kommer hit för att gifta sig med kungen
Dom är tyskar, iranier, greker, och turkar
mest är dem snälla, andra är skurkar
en del är ärliga, andra skumma
en del genier, andra är dumma
Mest är dem fredliga, andra vill slåss
Med andra ord: Dem är som oss!
Med fel och brister, tuffa och mjuka
Fast inte lika avundsjuka.
Vissa är färgade, andra är arier
Som köper sin bruna färg i solarier
vissa är svarta, andra gula
vissa är vackra, andra fula.
Men fast dem ibland av annan färg è
Är dem precis som vi i Sverige
och när dem vill jobba här är tacket
“ni får inte jobba än för facket”
En del är båtfolk från Vietnam
som inte kan sjunga ” we shall overcome”
och inte kan “rulla di rulla ” som vi
Och dom blir sällan fulla som vi
en del har andra gudar än vi.
En del söker lugnet i stället för bråket
det enda vi svenskar kan bättre är språket
det sägs att vi stammar från Adam & Eva
Som inte var svenskar – men ja må dem leva.

lørdag 19. mai 2012

Fra diskusjon om depresjoner

Hvis man har tendens til det, må man kjøpe en kladdebok og en blyant. Så skriver man nedover selvpålagte aktiviteter, under hverandre. Så krysser man av for hver dag ettersom tingene er gjort. I aktivitetene inkluderer du for eks. 1 time fottur, 1 time studier av et eller annet, osv. Det er fin terapi og levemåte.